| Patricia 的个人资料rumorsofme日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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10月21日 rumors runningHas fear ever gripped your smart, ignited your passions, swirled unknown yet desperately defiant in all your alone? If this experience is to you known, perhaps you'll find forgiveness for my awkward being, twisting on a wire, starkley open to the windfilled fires Pushing and dragging a small catch in thought, a hoped for nestling inside the mystery splitting your heart Whispers of old tales loving are now laid to rest
New Life is so uniquely ,
Given to those possessed
to know such completeness
At its ultimate best
Rumors will live and love,
to be loved and live again
Time beyond time
Lets Spirits such as mine
Pass from birth to death
And back to back again.
~rumorsofme~
7月4日 that thing you do..."That little weird thing people tell you to stop doing--don't, it's what makes you, YOU.
"My candle burns at both ends, however short the night."
"Giving someone the shirt off your back accomplishes just about that."
"The right time is always available, it is you who must be right for the time."
"the highway to Heaven is a very crowded way."
"What happened to the road less traveled?"
"Why must the 'best of times' always include some of the 'worst'?"
"We only give to get."
"I have become my own prisoner."
"The last time you were here, might be the last time."
"Without the shelter of Spirit, even the mind-body sex exercise is only that."
"The real me has no smiles or tears or waiting or lying or any Truth to bear."
"Do you not yet see all the others hearts beating within me?"
"A resting place is not a destination."
"Win some, lose some, you never get even."
--rumorsofme--
6月28日 the road" Do you know the Gift is on the road you just passed by?" "The same road you pass daily, nightly and even in your Dreams?" "It is in the same passage-way that all must pass on their way beyond their beliefs about Heaven and Hell." "Mornings Call" ~rumorsofme~ 5月25日 PARADISE AND BIRDS4月9日 squiggliesIs it only in the Light that the seeing is right? Only when day's labor ends that we turn to look for friends? Everything has been said Done and undone Thought, saw and Bought Carved of marble, stone and bone Carried by the seawinds All the way home. Perhaps, after all, it's just about the Light About how it has to be just right. Especially when memories call and the sky closes, when our eyes become all red with roses And feathers catch our fall into loving eyes -- oh, the wonder of it all! Yes...I think it is ALL about the Light, When you get right down to it it's about some intuition coming to fruition, about the songs that haven't been written yet, Oh, you remember...that was before we met! When the outside was all night and we couldn't find our inside light but that is all ok now -- now that we've found our how... nothing is so wrong that it can't be made right. Just remember to turn on the inside Light...just in case the stars go out... nite, nite. ~rom~ 10月5日 galaxies and galaxies -- enter Forever...  "I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than Lord among those without dreams and desires." ~Kahlil Gibran 8月17日 historyWhen you begin to read about the incorrect references and data in history books (that you grew up on) then you know you have certainly lived out a piece of your own considerably aged story of humanity; and wonder what all the ruckus and shouting at one another is about. It is just surreal as well as beyond what we are accustomed to determining and defining as the human body and/or consciousness. It takes just a blink or a wink and all is vapor or at least some stupefied visions of what we hang on to and call reality. The more I think on it, the less sure I am that I even am. Perhaps that is why I have grown disinterested in the commotion on tv, the movies and stuff broken. Where does any of this end up? I feel like I am on the "up-end" of the raucous noise of the "end". Whether one is 'storm-wracked' or storm-racked' hardly seems worth the typesetting for the dictionary. And since I feel as though I am living on 'borrowed time' I find it notable that I don't see any ledger or accountant who can clarify just how much I've borrowed or against what I've borrowed or when the account comes 'due and collectible'. You would think that such strains of measurements would hold with more severity and penalty. But they don't.
~rumorsofme~
6月26日 Would you...Would you
If you could?
Return to your old neighborhood
To see the bullet bitten shells
of someone's home
And the blood soaked earth
of your birth?
You would?
Would you
If you could?
Raise you hand to protest
Injustice For All.
Who will neverthless Fall?
Would you?
Would you
If you could?
Begin again to build a home
For the weary who
grow sick
And hunger as you do?
Would you?
If you could
Would you?
Comprehend the anger
and hatred
of the few?
Who afterall are not
So unlike me or you
Would you?
Some of us live
Some of us die
Some wander lost
For which we all
Bear the cost.
Some will regret
Some will forget
Some will be unreachable
As the sky
Some would forgive
Were they to know
The lie.
~rumorsofme~ 5月2日 Puff...n...stuff..."Don't forget your dragon and dinosaurs!"
"Aw, grandma, I'm too big for those old toy dragons!"
No, no you can't ever be that big, I wanted to shout.
"Come on, grandma, Dad's ready to go! We'll be late for the game."
Looking around his childhood's room, I felt tears bubbling in my eyes. How does it all go so fast. He was just a babe hiding between our knees whenever guests came near. Now he's off to some sport game or was it another camping outing. Hard to keep in memory all that made up a life. I picked up his blue bunny. What year was it that he got that? What Easter harvest dropped this old cuddly bunny in his arms? Smiling in between the pinchings that jabbed my emotions, I cushioned Blue Bunny under my chin and stole one last hug.
"I'm coming! I'm coming." I called back.
I closed the door and Pandora's box.
"We're going to the Chargers game," was the welcome I received once I had made it into the back seat.
"I'm thrilled." I managed to keep my 'oh nos' to myself.
"Everybody buckled up?" my daughter-in-law was checking.
"Can't go til you're all buckled in." my son reminded us.
I was fighting with the darned seat belt and wondering how I was going to get through a whole football game and sitting on those hard bleachers.
"Here, grandma, let me help you."
"What would I do without you?" I laughed.
"Aw, grandma, you always say that."
~~rumorsofme~~ 4月1日 ...remember to forget...don't forget to remember ...the day I wore the rose in my hair,
and you weren't there...
...you think I have what?
"angel feet"...?
...the story of the Knight who
faced a peril of great fright,
to rescue me from my plight...
...songs, like "chances are"
sung to me on the way to
the lake --
I mean barely a breath could I take...
..."sweet kisses" in a mile high city...
...the energy through your neon white
shirt, pressed against my arm
in that little hotel bar...
...he carrying me, in my "Gone with the Wind"
prom dress, to the door;
we left it there, not asking for more
just yet...
...the view of the Grand Canyon atop
a mule, with you in the lead,
me, wanting to stop...
...the relief and stirring of a retreat
in the Tetons...
...Yellowstone with your arm around mine...
...romances I wanted more from,
but was not to hold onto...
...slipping out the front door,
with only a gown to wed
my heart's passion...
...the sound of the surf as I
lay waiting for you, I was lulled
asleep, then awakened to...
...watching the sun spill molten gold
down my street, to turn and
watch fiery rockets bursting
off to another adventure...
...the time we made love when
my shoulder was broken...
...the days and nights, when my clock
revolved around the letter carrier...
...the books, looks and cafeterias
we shared...
...the spark of a new lover
huddled beside me, in our sleep...
...the purple velvet ribbon tied
around your letters, read too often
and in sweet, sad silence...
...the lives we shared before this one;
...the sun glistening off your back
wet with sweat, as we struggled
to mend those fences...
...the nights of shelter in your body...
...the sheath of love that yet
binds us too...
...the golden gloves and wedding rings,
and all the promises of better things.
...all our songs that you never even knew...
...and how I can still be moved to a different
time and place, can almost feel the warmth
of your breath upon my face...
...the battles we fought and lost and won..
only to start over to play scene after scene. ...the presence of you ever in my mind...
...driving to Albuquerque for a week-end visit...
...all the wrongs we tried
to make right...
...your cowhide laced fingers
caressing my shoulder bare,
warming to your lips pressed there...
...accepting what was and what was not
to be, between me and thee...
...wanting to hold on so bad,
my insides bled...
...all my dreams of lying in your arms
beneath a desert sky, with only
the stars to give light to our
private night...
...the sexy you and sensual me
arriving at some destined
passage in eternity...
...our fires were of a burning fierce
and lost kind...
...the urgency of hungry kisses,
the release of physical desire
we troubled through...
...the Light your Love passed through
to me, so I might too see
beyond this strange and mystical
delight of all we think we know
of as LIFE...
...calls from ships, airplanes, radios
and the like...
...the emptying of my Soul's burden
into you...
...the stranger's hand advancing to mine
and wondering who, this time...
...all the pictures, verse and song
that have made me who I am,
and shown me where I belong,
most humbly ...
...the way the sun made your curly blond
hair into a sheen of silk,
as you played your guitar for me...
...our first anniversary when you filled the house with
flowers, everywhere I looked...
...the white rose I left on your desk--
a wish hope for ours to be for
all time...
...the strength of your iron forger's hands,
delicately wrapped around some beauty
of gate or stairway band...
...the little bed we snuggled in and
how that became too big or too little..
...your songs beside a warm campfire of
a bunch of old hippie types...
and the play one for mama request
you gently did your best...
...all the good and bad that didn't last...
...all that impedes today,
I must wrap in tears
of the past...
...forget them never...
they are as old as time
and as welcome as
old vintage wine...
LOVE is a Forever Kind of Thing,
with or without a paper, necklace,
promise or ring...
I only need to hear the Music of a time,
that bookmarks the whole of my being,
love-filled Memory in Heart
and mind...
whatever the distance in this world
or the next,
I will find you...we will find each other;
a harbor of living and loving
await there.
...I will always care, and carry the glints of gold
of the stories we've told...
...such waiting never gets too old,
for those driven by the Heart's
desire to reach for and hold...
...It's stormy beaten path
to consummate the sweetness
of this lifetime's repast...
...i am where i'm supposed to be...
and there's always room
for a you and me...
~rumorsofme~
3月23日 How Do They KnowHow do they know....
...the worst is over...
...tomorrow will be a better day...
...when you're ready, the Teacher will appear...
...all things come to those who wait...
...the answer lies within YOU...
...look for the inside Light, for...
...that you are the Special someone you seek...
......good times are just around the corner...
...the life you save will be your own...
...your DAY is coming...
...the outside from the inside...
...there's a Pot of Gold at the end of every Rainbow...
...that Fire will not burn you...
...not to lay up Treasures upon that which will turn to Dust...
...that the Soul never dies...
...that your problems are your Solutions...
...that happily ever after is only a fair tale...
...that your Passing is only a Portal to another Adventure...
...that which saves your today, will dictate to you tomorrow....
...that upside down is not right side up...
...know that the man who invented the telephone also invented the first electric chair...
...that being left behind is where you are going to be happiest...
...the BIG MYSTERY'S NAME...
...that Humankind is neither human nor kind...
...the parking lot you stand on was once a backyard...
...that the Well is bottomless...
...that all of your life, is ALL YOUR LIFE...
..that the sweat of one brow is the tear in another's eye...
...that the step you fall on today, will be the step that raises you tomorrow...
...that the only cents you can make is sense...
...the brain you think with will one day be green gelatin...
...that the icing on your cake, could wipe out the life of someone else...
...that the gasoline in your tank, is being paid for in blood and death...
...there is no safe place in this world...
...the LIGHT you've been searching for is within...
...an hour is too long, and a Lifetime is not enough...
...someone is always watching you, me, them, us, who...
...salt was once more prized than gold...
...that the Blue in your eye, is the Brown in another's...
...Music will calm even the most savage of emotions or beasts...
...that where your heart is, there is your home...
...that all the world's a stage, and the men and women only...
...a knife can enslave one man and still free another...
...the reason for your Being has nothing to do with Reason...
...that what you wear without is what your wear within...
...one gardener's weed is another girl's flower...
...that one misdeed can be the undoing of a world...
...with enough Love, all can be forgiven...
...that common sense is just the feelings of HUMANITY...
...the UNIVERSE is common ground...
...Bermuda is more than just grass or shorts or onions...
...that we will find what we're looking for...
...the best man is an attendant...
...there are many types of grass...
...all sickness begins in Spirit...
...that being Different is a good thing...
...that all Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder...
...your TO DO List, for today, was Yesterday's List for Tomorrow, and...
...the smaller the pill, the more potent it is...
...we are all Recivers, tuned to differing stations...
...that the words you use to thread your life with, make up the cloth that another will wear...
...backbone is something more than a spinal column...
...we are all from a single evolutionary origin...
...that a grandchild is just that--GRAND...
...what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...
...that nobody owns nothin...
...that a havenot has it ALL...
...that no one is going to grade you harder than you grade yourself...
...everyone is looking through a different colored piece of glass...
...what you tattle now can become your battle later....
...Music can transcend every boundary man will dream up...
...having the latest fashion chic will all change by the time you understand...
...the seed you so carefully planted today, may be washed away by next week's rain...
...sleep carries its own weight...
...we are all just coming and going...
...the human body can yet tell tales long after its inhabitant has left...
...what is moot to some, is a moat to others...
...that there are times when you have to go crazy just to stay sane...
...not to kid your Self...
...a fragment is still part of something WHOLE...
...what could have been, still can be...
...letting someone else give to you, is the highest form of helping...
...stories only happen to one who can tell them...
...that having and doing are all wrapped up in your being...
...one step forward and two steps back, still gets you there...
...the biggest building with no doors or windows is U...
...being the real thing is better than being anyone's stand-in...
...that unless a given law is used to create harmony and order, it only creates disaster...
...what is hell for some, is mecca for others...
...the right honor at the right time may seem like dishonor, to the unbeliever...
...to see through the eye of a needle, is to be ALL-SEEING...
...being lost can be fun...
...nothing is lonlier than feeling alone in a crowd of people you know...
...the main objective in any endeavor is to make it a success...
...we're almost there...
...you hold the pencil that drew the circle that keeps them out, use the eraser on the other end...
...the shortest way to get to where you are going, is a straight line...
....who is the sculptor and who is the clay...
...to keep your best friend, you must also be one...
...you can't give away what's not yours to begin with...
...there's more than one way to Africa, or wherever it it...
...the only way to hold onto anyone is with open arms...
...that a moment of "It doesn't get any better than this" is all that...
...that you have to throw out the old, before there is room for the new...
...appreciation is rarely heard anymore, let someone you know you appreciate them today...
...sometimes the best thing we can do for another is just to let them cry...
...the language of Hearts overcomes the barriers of the words...
...it's easier to be patient, when you've been fed...
...a patient woman begging today, may be running madly in the street with a gun tomorrow...
...sticks and stones can break bones and words can hurt the worst of all...
...you can bend a spoon with your mind's energy --- If you want to do that...
...the Wind in your Sails may blow away...
...the West was won by thieving, murdering, tobacco juice spitting , ambitious folk, now known as Americans...
...who pays and keeps on paying for the so-desired American Lifestyle...
...when the physical pain gets to its unbearable worst, what you might do..
...the Creative Eye sees an exotic erring in an old Keyring...
...who it really is that was just unearthed a few weeks ago in another Egyptian tomb...
...Life won't let you alone...
....how ever far away you think you can get, you are still there with YOU...
...there's time enough to rest......on the other side....
...Each one of us is only a laborer, server, attendant in waiting /Just begin to wonder what it is we are waiting for...
...live every day full out.....what are you saving it for?...
~rumorsofme~
3月3日 KNOW_______KNOW_______
Know wellness of being
Contentment in your daily activities
Happiness in the company of like-minded people
Forgiveness in your memories
Peace of mind in the ever present moment
With Faith to Light Dark spaces
and
Love waiting in your Heart
Continue to be mindful of your Journey
It's purpose, Design and Intent
Thus, may you experience the Joy
of a hidden Hope revealed.
June 29, 1999
~~rumorsofme~~
3月2日 ...winds of change through my Soul...~...winds of change through my Soul...~
I feel the changing winds
passing through my Soul,
trusting the guides of
my Spiritual attends
I am ready to let this Journey
begin again.
Where it leads I do not know
Simply trust that it so.
With the help and wisdom of
ancestors gone on before
I welcome this new light
.....after all, soon it will be
goodnight.
~rumorsofme~ 3月1日 A Child Tell
...Once Upon a Time...
There was a young girl who was full of dreams – of romance & kings. She loved to explore the world of lore; her heart led her to many & thru many adventures. She met dragons and angels
 ; and a magic spell was put upon her. One day her knight came to wake her up and she loved him just more than anything. He gave her light to see by , and opened her heart with stories of delight. Then came the winds that blow…hard hard winds. And she got turned upside down, landed on the ground and found new friends  and more to do. Still though those ole winds blew. She put her hat and coat on and went to the zoo. People didn’t always understand how bad the girl felt …..so she crossed many roads by herself. But she never forgot her knight and the Light. Even in the dark when she could not see or be, the knight and the light were right there in her inside sight. Long days go by, oh yes, years and years—and lots of tears too. The dark clouds of storms bent her older, oh yes, very old….but she was bold and fought thru the nights for she loved her mother and father and her grandmother. But, just when she thought all was going to get better ,  her daddy had to go to another state. She felt very very sad…she was even mad! She fell down a lot too, broke those bones (see told you to drink your milk!). She went to a land where there were new things And began to walk -- now she needed a walking stick; even though she wasn’t that old—so she asked for help and angels Then, there came another terrible storm to the floor and wow, there was a door! So, she went home. Then only 2 days went by & she was very sick inside. So they went back to the big building and helped her inside. This time she almost died, the doctor said. Her family thought her a miracle. But she did not think so, because she thought all her dreams would go. And she had to leave her happy home, even though there she was all alone, for 7 years. Now, what would happen next? Her family thought she should go to a home with more doctors and nurses. After some more winds blew, she was very tired and lonely. Her new home was too small; hardly room to walk at all! She made new friends When she woke up, she was in another room all alone, and her memory was gone. She felt very sad and lost. Even though the doctors gave her many potions and things to swallow, she found it very hard to follow. But she began to get better and even though her grandmother, who she loved sooooo much was gone now too. Oh, yes, she had nightmares, those scary kinds. Then she saw another bright rainbow; so pretty she still was and loved her family very much. One day, just about Christmas time ~~you getting sleepy, Nicholas? . ………………but oops! She fell off that cliff! Soon her son and 2, 6 and 7 year old grandchildren, were very scared But she didn’t care because she was fast asleep. The Doctors worked on her body, her back and head & neck owies!. They used a magic potion to put her to deeper sleep so her tired broken body could maybe get better. Yes, she had all kinds of tubes and stuff to breathe for her enough…they call that “life support.” So the family waited a long time But one more time she got up, though she hurt so much that all the magic potions they gave her did not help at all. She thought how come it is always so bad? The doctors. were not nice to her either and her son got mad.
So, again the people who help you walk and talk came to her little room and walked her around. The doc said it would take 2 years to heal her back. Things looked very black. But she found things to do, like flying kites, staying up all night, painting and writing different stories. And she helped other people find their way; even today, she can once again play, pull weeds in the garden and learn new ways to be full of joy everyday. Now, what to say? Long time had gone by and she was very alone in her little room, with only a bed and tv, a microwave and a refrigerator, and she had all her books. (remember Nicholas, to keep your books…when you are finished with those, we’ll give them to other children who don’t have any books). But she had a dream, since she was a little girl. No it wasn’t about diamonds or a pearl. It was about adventure & helping other people. One night on the new magic box, she found the Peace Corps again but she didn’t believe they would let her in. But this was a new kind of Peace Corps (where you can go to places like China, India, Africa ,, South American or Berlin.) She was soo excited that she called them the very next day. She wanted to be on her way. And hoped her new friend would go with her. Because he knew all languages and stuff that other people talked. But she would go alone as she always had. Alright a new adventure begins. And her new family wondered how she could go thru such hard times & be okay still. This was very puzzling to all she knew. Because she had been in sooo much pain that there seemed nothing to gain by living or dying. And she no longer believed in God---for that is a mystery …nobody knows. But somehow she found her way thru many thorn bushes, fallen off trampolines & jumpy things. The doctors had put her on Morphine and all kinds of potions and then she had to stop all by herself the affects of all those drugs she needed to fight the pain. But when she had awakened in July of 2005, the pain was very strange. She did not remember anything of the past many years. It was a big mystery and her eye was not very clear; nor her ear. & many of her teeth were now missing.. How had this all happened? She was confused! So, she began to think she would go to Africa and play with little children & stay for 3 months. She began to learn about Tanzania where the people were very poor & children did not live long. Her dream of long, long ago, seemed to be coming true too. SEE! But most people thought she should not go because her jaw had hurt so—but the mystery was high and low. She had many decisions to make. She started by pulling those weeds out of that garden she had wanted to plant for soo long. And lots of little boys and girls came to see her at Birthdays for her little grandson. They got big balloons and let them fly in the air—little boys and girls from everywhere…..and she was sooo happy. For they made a wish and let the balloons sail up in the sky taking their wishes for Ferraris, World Peace and Health and no sickness to every place in the world they could think of.. Now she had her dream because there was a different kind of Peace Corps where they would take people who needed some extra help . She had no car........ for soo long & had stayed in her little room, that going out in the world was too big now . Even to the food store was more and more than before.
She thought and thought, what should she do? She was beginning to understand that mysterious plan. That was kind of scary too, as she had a dream fall into her lap, while she napped!
But she never ever forgot the special Knight who helped her through the night to see a brighter light. Her heart was his as well—whatever the magic spell.. So, she began again……….
“Are you asleep, Nicholas?
 
2月26日 ...oceans of time......oceans of time...
oceans of time wash
through my mind
sleep remains illusive
to the loneliness
of my kind
fleshed burning palms
awaken my deep
dreamless solemn
keep
tear stained pillows
leave traces of the past
i reached for your hand
does nothing last?
~~rumorsofme~~
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,
…ooh
then the storm clouds came again.
, they went for
we are just about to -- ok........
...........
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