"Why do you weep, old woman?" he asked.

"For Johnny" I said.

"Who is that?

"My son...they are all my sons."

"Why do you weep, old woman?" he asked.

"Because they do not learn. How many must fall now?" I cried.

"How many years before the unheard are heard? We just supposed

to wait for answers 'blowin in the wind!!??? Who set up all this shit anyway?"

"Move your arm...I cannot understand you," he said.

"Does it matter? You won't do anything about it. They'll still be hungry, praying for help that'll never come. You must like that!"

"Here, take the tissue. Are your tears going to make a difference?" he asked.

"No, not mine or the millions like me. It don't matter anyhow. We're all a long way from home--wherever the hell that is!" I shouted.

"I wish there was something I could do or say, so you wouldn't feel this way." he said.

"Yeah, you and me both. This whole thing is so stupid. It ain't no use callin on you. You're never there, never here, anywhere. You can't see. You don't hear anyway. Is this what we get for lovin you?" I cried.

"You're walkin road awash in tears; and the wind carries your cries. But no one will know you have cried for them."

"So I just cling to some lie of hope that...

"I didn't tell you do that. Choose another road." he looked down then away.

"All the rivers are drenched with my tears, nothin will be different. I'll pass into the sands of Egypt. And all that was sacrificed, all the blood, the pain will have not inched humankind any higher up."

"uh huh," he murmurred.

"The times never change then? What...why...I mean, the point is ...

"There is no pointl" he leaned in to wipe my tears. "You are the one with the eyes, the ears, the heart to move with. You are the one with a mind, with time. Make it count. For something. Didn't we have this talk before you ever came here?"

"I don't remember. Why would I choose to come to this place, only to suffer and die, or whatever the hell it is we do. I hate to wake you up, but the master plan is not working --

"There is no master plan," he rubbed the hem of his garment.

"What! Everything, every word, song, hope, every touch of love means nothing ? This all just a bit of theater for you and your buddies?"

"I have to go. Blink your eyes a couple of times...it will all be gone. All be over. Then you'll be on the inside looking out, or the outside looking in. Whatever appeals to you." he smiled.

The breath sucked out me.

"What about Johnny?" I asked.

"You know the answer. You already know the questions and the answers.

Now you can choose what or where next. It's up to you. Always has been." he began to turn away.

"NO, NO, you don't. All this too much of nothing for me. I see what you're saying. Nothing matters. Nobody's anything special. Never was. Where am I now?" I asked the wind.

"Are you taking notes?" he bent down, his knees on the sharp, hard rocks

that etched the whitewashed, choppy plain.

How I wanted to just lay down and let me go.

"Let me go with you." I whispered.

"Drink some of this water. We're not looking for any more martyrs. They're very cheap. Just reel out some story of good and bad and a belief or two or thousands." his hand cupped fresh clear wetness to my dry lips.

I drank.

"Thank you." I managed to let out ahead of all the echoes of my fears and tears.

"Will it really help if I stay? Will all be different if I hold your hand? What if I feed the millions today? Who will feed them tomorrow." he rose to go.

"Please don't tell me this is so! I cannot bear the sounds of sobbing, of people robbing their mother to pay for their brother. You're going to leave me alone now?"

"You have always been alone." he looked at me and I knew he loved me. His hands were still wet. Slippery and red.

"OK," I said.

"We'll talk whenever you want, all you want, wherever you want." he seemed to promise.

"Is that a promise?"

He grinned as if to say how foolish I was being again.

"Alright. I guess it won't mean much for me to beg now. The tragedies don't bother you?"

"I didn't say that." he said. "Anyway, I have to keep moving on."

"Yeah, you do that!" I screamed after him.

The back of his garment was fading in the heat of the sun.

I looked around to the flesh I was yet in.

Again, I turned to watch him go. His being now lost in the landscape; but on the horizon I could saw a mighty force of something...I held my hand to shadow my eyes from the burning of the light. Who are they? All different sizes, shapes, colors and talking. I could see they were talking. In the midst of the quiet revelation, I heard a celebration as he disappeared within them. I brushed the sands from my eyes. They were gathered, into a distant line.

Climbing on a higher rock, I strained to see where they were going. What were they talking about? Places I could not go now. They all gave a laugh and smiled back to me. We're not that far away. If only I could believe that. A gust of sand blew in my face, I hid from the sudden storm. I stumbed off the rock. Rolling in the sand, I raised my head. Looking around I saw how big the emptiness was. High high the sky reached to touch the ground.

It's too big, I thought. It's too much. I'm too alone, too tired to live beyond the next step.

Dusting my jeans off, I picked up my shoes and began to walk again. I heard no sound but those found within the soul of lonely beings such as I. I wanted to wish for clouds to block the sun, wanted to kick up some sand and run for the horizon.

Why not, I thought. It's just me. My back began to ache and I stopped to see what was there within or without that would cause such a pain. I felt beneath my shirt, there was something growing there. Now what? I wondered as I let my shoes fall away,while I touched the swollen fiery spots.

"They're your wings!" I heard one say.

"What?" I stood now frozen to the spot.

"your wings!!"

"oh," I laughed. "I was wondering when...guess I'd take them back again. Now I remembered. That's what happened the last time.

"remember, now?" the call whispered in the wind.

"yeah," I sputtered back and then I looked down. Where was the ground I was standing in?

"up here!" he called. "up here."

And I turned in a swish as my jeans blew away and my worn out body vanished with them. The air was cool. But there was no air. No here. No there.

"alright, I'm coming! guess you win again!"

--rumorsofme~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~