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3月11日 Everybody is broken"It isn't enough for your heart to break, because everybody's heart is broken now." -Allen Ginsberg- 3月7日 CHRONIC PAIN HARMS THE BRAIN
It isn't enough for your heart to break
because everybody's heart is broken now.Allen Ginsberg
Well has it been said that there is no grief
like the grief which does not speak. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow   The following article appeared in the publication "MED TRACK ALERT" which reached me today and I wanted to get it out to as many people who live within the narrow confines of Chronic Pain, as I possibly could. The next entry on my space has to do with my response to this news. I am thrilled it came in my lifetime. Having felt like the lepers of ancient civilizations, this knowledge was comforting to me and I hope you will find something of value in it as well. In truth, I'd love to hear from others. I've been living a very secluded lifestyle these past many years and have not kept the communications of those who spar with this menacing destructor of what it is we are trying to create: Basically a life with the love and union of family, friends, co-workers...any other who may be in your sphere of orbit. It is a lonely road. I did have for some years, a support group for individuals in CP, and was able at that time, to feel the connection and understanding we all share; and which otherwise leaves very little to share. For who can understand that you may look fine ("What's wrong with you?" "You look fine to me!" "Oh, are you ever going to get over that!" "It seems to me if you tried a little harder, you'd be doing better.") I don't make these statements to bring dissension into the lives of those who are already bereft of human companionship and purposeless existence; rather to allow ourselves to look to one another when we are so down we think we cannot come back up. And, from my own experience, I know that family (meaning as well as they may) cannot fill in all the blanks that a life in CP leaves us in. I don't know what can for we all have dreams, ideals, aspirations, even ambition; and to finally have to accept that they are never going to come to pass, is -- well, there are no words for it. Changing our thoughts goes a long way to carry us through the heavy days and even heavier nights; and the concept of ACCEPTANCE brings (from my fragmented travels) the only peace of being I will ever have. For each has a journey and what reveals to one, may reveal yet another way for the next. To stop resisting is still a perilous course for me. There the wound retains a galling discomfort, a garbled voice and aching void, with which I must banter more than I'd like to admit. So, there the Spackle of contemptuous stares (or perhaps worst of all: pity). I am of the same human bondage as every other being on the planet and I still see a vision that is breathing and all is possible. The WAY is yet young and the Source is only just begun. In union there is healing. For it is not only the physical, bodily realm that is hurting, our relationships are sore, burdened, overwhelmed with, "What more can I do?" And Depression bears little light for the fight. Perhaps with a bit more communication, we may find ways in which to increase the opportunities and fortunes in feeling able, capable and expectant with happiness knowing we are going to be spending (if it's 5 minutes or 5 hours or 5 days) an allotment of time for that which we truly desire and which gives back to us, that caring nurturing, affectionate, loving atmosphere -- which will turn coal to diamonds. This is so. One of the upsides to this course is that we are able to discover WHO we are. Gone are what work we did that made us feel useful (NOT fulfillment, hear that); come into our own -- that is, knowing WHO we truly are and knowing that, live out of that attitude, with Integrity, Ideals and Wisdom...we have knowledge and wisdom because of the life we have led and continue to lead. It can be of some purpose here on this planet and one by one we can be guided to that which gives us a super charged expectancy and pumped with enthusiasm for what ever may await us and those we love so dearly. It is all about the LOVE, the LOVING and the genuine affection and kindness that brings our own inner sage to bloom!  
 The Brain Is Harmed By Chronic PainMain Category: Pain / AnestheticsAlso Included In: Neurology / Neuroscience; Depression; Sleep / Sleep Disorders / Insomnia Article Date: 06 Feb 2008 - 2:00 PST  email to a friend  printer friendly  view / write opinions  rate article  newsletters
People with unrelenting pain don't only suffer from the non-stop sensation of throbbing pain. They also have trouble sleeping, are often depressed, anxious and even have difficulty making simple decisions. In a new study, investigators at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine have identified a clue that may explain how suffering long-term pain could trigger these other pain-related symptoms. Researchers found that in a healthy brain all the regions exist in a state of equilibrium. When one region is active, the others quiet down. But in people with chronic pain, a front region of the cortex mostly associated with emotion "never shuts up," said Dante Chialvo, lead author and associate research professor of physiology at the Feinberg School. "The areas that are affected fail to deactivate when they should." They are stuck on full throttle, wearing out neurons and altering their connections to each other. This is the first demonstration of brain disturbances in chronic pain patients not directly related to the sensation of pain. The study will be published Feb. 6 in The Journal of Neuroscience. Chialvo and colleagues used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to scan the brains of people with chronic low back pain and a group of pain-free volunteers while both groups were tracking a moving bar on a computer screen. The study showed the pain sufferers performed the task well but "at the expense of using their brain differently than the pain-free group," Chialvo said. When certain parts of the cortex were activated in the pain-free group, some others were deactivated, maintaining a cooperative equilibrium between the regions. This equilibrium also is known as the resting state network of the brain. In the chronic pain group, however, one of the nodes of this network did not quiet down as it did in the pain-free subjects. This constant firing of neurons in these regions of the brain could cause permanent damage, Chialvo said. "We know when neurons fire too much they may change their connections with other neurons and or even die because they can't sustain high activity for so long," he explained. 'If you are a chronic pain patient, you have pain 24 hours a day, seven days a week, every minute of your life," Chialvo said. "That permanent perception of pain in your brain makes these areas in your brain continuously active. This continuous dysfunction in the equilibrium of the brain can change the wiring forever and could hurt the brain." Chialvo hypothesized the subsequent changes in wiring "may make it harder for you to make a decision or be in a good mood to get up in the morning. It could be that pain produces depression and the other reported abnormalities because it disturbs the balance of the brain as a whole." He said his findings show it is essential to study new approaches to treat patients not just to control their pain but also to evaluate and prevent the dysfunction that may be generated in the brain by the chronic pain. ---------------------------- Article adapted by Medical News Today from original press release. ---------------------------- Chialvo's collaborators in this project are Marwan Baliki, a graduate student; Paul Geha, a post-doctoral fellow, and Vania Apkarian, professor of physiology and of anesthesiology, all at the Feinberg School. For more information on Dante Chialvo visit: http://www.chialvo.net/index.html Source: Marla Paul Northwestern University
3月6日 New Scientific Research on Chronic Pain THE SCREAM
Painting by Edvard Munch I have lived over half my lifetime (30+ years) in the hands of the medical establishment, who knew next to nothing about chronic pain, and I have paid too high a price. Yet I am still here, trying to find purpose in my daily living. But within YOU, you know what you were once capable of and that now is a dreamy vista -- when you can feel outside the circle of pain for a time; and that usually means that you are medicated enough to do nothing more than dream about it. What do you do? I have tried to put as much into my living as possible when possible; and I am a person who needs "purpose" (and who doesn't) in their lives, in everyday living. Most people come and go, never aware that a split second could alter their entire existence -- because existence is what it becomes. Keeping something on the inner radar becomes a challenge but one that is imperative. I've had to learn different ways of living/existing/coping. Having seen just about every type of specialist out there before finding a (too late) credible diagnosis, I am scarred both emotionally, mentally and physically. When your "purpose" is just to try and live with the pain, on the edge of it, you are derailed into a shadowy nether land. When you've lost everything you worked for, loved, family, friends, everything that you thought made you who and what you were, you are without any foundation. Just drifting. Occasionally grabbing hold of something solid once in awhile, but that never lasts either. If other people think it is hard to live with someone in chronic pain, they should think of the person enduring the pain and attempting to live some kind of purposeful life. The doctors, and even family, come to view you as the leper of the old days. You feel shunned, your medication needs raising eyebrows. More than the punishment of the pain, there is the look in the eye of the pharmacist viewing your prescriptions, the heart-breaking snickers of those who stand behind the counter in the pharmacy, the comments by the prescribing doctor: "Well, are you going to go to the street when we refuse to give you any more meds?" It would have been far less painful if they'd just taken out a knife and gutted me. If you raise your voice in protest, or cry in despair...then you are emotionally unstable. Yeah! I would think so!! The plight of the patient in CP is epidemic in this country and many are under medicated, if medicated at all. (And here I want to add that the whole field of holistic Health or Alternative Medicine is one in which great palliative care can be found, but which no insurance covers. Of course, if you are lucky enough to have coverage of any kind, you just become thankful for whatever can provide the body with any relief. I have been fortunate to be able to have Acupuncture, Biofeedback, Massages, Chiropractors--they all provide for some distancing of the ever with you, unbearable. When is that going to be, along with the recognition that Dental problems contribute to the overall health of your body and therefore should be covered by all necessary Insurance coverage---your mouth is part of your body! When are we going to get this right?) With the whole Health Care crisis in America, a person "just in pain" (pain is your body speaking to say that there is something WRONG) is less and less likely to be deemed a person of credible need. They wind up on the streets, getting drugs when and however they may. Which brings up the subject of Marijuana. In California, the drug has been ruled by the courts as "medically acceptable" and offices exist where patients may come with their prescriptions (just like any other medication) to have them filled. But, the Federal courts say NO. It is not even warranted in the context of people trying to live with mind-bending PAIN day in and day out; and so offices are raided and people desperate for relief are denied what is acceptable in most every other country on the planet. However, it's perfectly alright if they go to the nearest liquor store and purchase alcohol -- which is l00% more detrimental to their physical bodies, lifestyle -- as well as others. This makes absolutely NO SENSE. The so-called compassionate among us still have their barriers insofar as what is acceptable and what is not. We are to strive to be non-judgmental, yet if you are among the many who wander in pain, you find out fast, just how much of a fable that is.
3月3日 then there were three... Then there were three... Beautiful miracles given to me.  Once Upon A Time, I had cause to climb To reach beyond my grasp To pull from within A Life, made up fast. Children grow up, Lovers change, then disappear And we are shocked with only A mirror to document our fear. Soon, though slowly, our memories Are less and less clear And we hang onto sunnier times When laughter and risks wore dear. Don't tell me to pray Or reinvent new ways Of living when the core of my giving Has been sharply pierced by empty days. Tears chocking in acid burns Reducing mindless crying Over Loss after Loss we cannot prevent The cost of too little time When we were meant to relish all that did shine. And it did -- didn't it? ...sometimes? I only hope you have a memory or two When you felt just a tinge of happiness true From friendships made - though cost you too That is how we learn about Trust From tentative steps to belief in what you do And what you must. Now passageways open anew Some live on time...Time lives on some There is no other way but to learn from how we grew And reinvest this priceless knowledge for another one. I knew your Mother and she talked to me In long nights of despair Worrying how you all were going to get there. She so wanted to stay at home, Tending the Garden of the blossoming Singular, Distinctive, learning to roam On your own. And while that was not to be I know she felt the best days of her life Were spent in trying to learn what a father should be teaching you And while pretty much making a mess, she pushed herself and her body away. All the while proclaiming what she had to do Looking more than you will ever know for calmer waters To swim through, Yet to remain stern, unmoving in dedication that you LEARN What she herself did not know All of loving, giving, how to slide from high to low. Because she knew the day would come for you to go. All the while our small little boat so difficult to row Into stormy gales, covering edgy and winsome trails. Lighting the darkness with your inner light For love of you, she fought for something right. In your aging days, regardless the play May you find compassion in your heart. Know she loved you more than any words would convey. And so hopes you show your life through That you got the message, over and over again. "I love you." ...and then there were three Running feet, all but crying, Laughing to beats of endless trying Wondering what could be? For this wonder of Life sighing? She held you tight against the High waves slapping. Finally letting you go, To break the barriers trapping. And sail your dreams Into a reverent, intent sea. Realizing that it was you all along Where she wanted to be...to belong. ~rom~ |
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