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12月6日

here and there, this seems about fair...



I've tried here and there (you know some other website for Journaling and such) but nothing ever keeps, so I'll just stay with my first encounter with the cyber-world of unmasking my incongruent self. 
I read about PARADE'S article on Clint Eastwood and the slide show on other legendary stars, now past their so-called "prime" insofar as the way they look, trying to keep some accord in time; and it hurts.  I mean I don't know these people.  It isn't these people -- it's what they represent.  My Life NOT mirroring back to me any kind of accomplishment to the endeavors of people  striving to harvest a kernel of corn, huddled by a short fire in a desert cold, closer and closer they touch to feel the warmth of each surround their bound physical reserves and multiplying that back, their bodies react, lending a spark here and there, where  there was CARE and it multiplied their solidarity  of staunch refusal to let their circumstances deplete their humanity.  It is more than a single survival that holds your mind there; it is a  shelf of history loaded back and forth again.   Who knows what came before our dance?  Or if anything will come after? And what does it matter if there can be no Peace, no relief for the hungry torn by the loss of loved ones, their grief lives on.

I can hear the band, the Christmas Parade on land, marching down the street -- no sweet Christmas Carols to lift the beat; we heard the Marine Battle Hymn, which as we all ache for those whose breaths are being lost, one by one, on some hot and dusty desert terrain, wanting only to do America proud, become mesmerized by the children of this foreign place filled with people you never  traced -- not in school or even fairy tale.   These were the faces, the broken or lost limbs of tiny tots...those are the souls whose hungry eyes come to life when you lie beside your family back home.  There are no words to make them understand what you, as woman, as man, had to do by command.  What sights you had tried to wean from your consciousness only to have them break through in a sweat as you lay warmed and loved by the side of your best.  You can no longer pretend it away - that it didn't really happen that way.  In such wars (and kid yourself not, they are all the same) you may leave the field of battle, but the field of battle never leaves you.  No amount of lessening grew as you huddled nearer your safely loving and devoted one.   Like the cunning strike of a Sun cutting through the clouds of dust as they blew, your heart never seems to heal, no ease seems even real and you wonder if it ever will?    We cannot take a human being who goes to work one day, selling cars, farming fields, raising plants, manufacturing clumps of food, developing steel for malls and theater calls...then, shake them up, slap them around, dig and dig until their fury can be found and put to use for some government sent, to sink into the swine yards of ugliness (we never knew we had in us, and now we can BLAME , who?)
The questions asked since  humankind could sign, then draw pictures in darkened caves before the rolls of papyrus was overwhelmed by the printing press so that they could be distributed and play on the minds during the uncertainty of times.   In uncounted moments of BEFORE  we were and after we go, few have come the answers as to why we cannot seem to live, and let our Purpose BE to render the betterment of humanity  as the winner of our back and forth decisions. 
And I am angry that I am but human, lone, forgotten; but that is how it goes, isn't it.   How senseless is it?  Don't ask as no one knows. What do you do when you become old.  Old in the body that holds you back from the flight you would take , the ones who've left  you now, how can a person bear so much sorrow in one heart -- just one human heart.  That's a lot of clinging to distant swells down by the sea, where all kinds of life dwells.  Even with a sketchy mind, you long for more, for rest in some Joy, some ability to give back.  What a ruddy smart attack caught you short and forever cracked over your head and shimmering red finally did have an end?  
As much as I try to hold onto the loving past with all my desires and dreams intact, a growing wave  rises somewhere beneath the oceans deep, with its intent to sweep over  your promises to keep.  I made mistakes and mistakes made me (they do that in such a delicate balancing act that you don't see it, until you are too far gone down to the drop of Wisdom begins to feed on your bulky ignorance -- especially when the times you thought you knew so much, were so above the dangling bling of the current world hearing but no thing .  All was now silenced and the meadow you ran it turned into a landfill dragging down all the filth we humans have learned is our right to deal.  What a sight?  But more, what a feel.  When there's nothing left to do, what are we still here for?    Please spare your religious change, as I have changed.  And blistered feet drive me to my knees, right before the lights go out.  Should I be pleased?
~rumors~


12月5日

The Folded Napkin...

we can all do so much more.....

 

The Folded Napkin

A Truckers Story 


I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy. But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn't sure I wanted one. I wasn't sure how my customers would react to Stevie. 

He was short, a little dumpy with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech ofDowns Syndrome. I wasn't worried about most of my trucker customers because truckers don't generally care who buses tables as long as the meatloaf platter is good and the pies are homemade.
 

The four-wheeler drivers were the ones who concerned me; the mouthy college kids traveling to school; the yuppie snobs who secretly polish their silverware with their napkins for fear of catching some dreaded 'truck stop germ' the pairs of white-shirted business men on expense accounts who think every truck stop waitress wants to be flirted with. I knew those people would be uncomfortable around Stevie so I closely watched him for the first few weeks.
 

I shouldn't have worried. After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger, and within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truck stop mascot.
 

After that, I really didn't care what the rest of the customers' thought of him. He was like a 21-year-old in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties. Every salt and pepper shaker was exactly in its place, not a breadcrumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table. Our only problem was persuading him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty. Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus dishes and glasses onto his cart and meticulously wipe the table up with a practiced flourish of his rag.
 

If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met. 

Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truck stop. Their social worker, who stopped to check on him every so often, admitted they had fallen between the cracks. Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home. That's why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work.
 

He was at the Mayo Clinic in 
Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His social worker said that people with Downs  Syndrome often have heart problems at an early age so this wasn't unexpected, and there was a good chance he would come through the surger y in good shape and be back at work in a few months. 

A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery, and doing fine.
 

Frannie, the head waitress, let out a war hoop and did a little dance in the aisle when she heard the good news.
 

Belle Ringer, one of our regular trucker customers, stared at the sight of this 50-year-old grandmother of four do ing a victory shimmy beside his table.
 

Frannie blushed, smoothed her apron and shot Belle Ringer a withering look.
 

He grinned. 'OK, Frannie, what was that all about?' he asked.
 

'We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay.'
 

'I was wondering where he was. I had a new joke to tell him. What was the surgery about?'
 !

Frannie quickly told Belle Ringer and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie's surgery, then sighed: 'Yeah, I'm glad he is going to be OK,' she said. 'But I don 't know how he and his Mom are going to handle all the bills. From what I hear, they're barely getting by as it is.' Belle Ringer nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables. Since I hadn't had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn't want to replace him, the girls were busing their own tables that day until we decided what to do.
 

After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face.
 
'What's up?' I asked.
 

'I didn't get that table where Belle Ringer and his friends were sitting cleared off after they left, and Pony Pete and Tony Tipper were sitting there when I got back to clean it off,' she said. 'This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup.'
 

She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed 'Something For Stevie'.
 

'Pony Pete asked me what that was all about,' she said, 'so I told him about Stevie and his Mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they ended up giving me this.' She handed me another paper napkin that had 'Something For Stevie' scrawled on its outside. Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds. Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply: 'truckers.'
 

That was three months ago. Today is Thanksgiving, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work.
 

His placement counselor said he's been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn't matter at all that it was a holiday. He called 10 times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy. I arranged to have his mother bring him to work. I then met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back.
 

Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn't stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting.
 

'Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast,' I said. I took him and his mother by their arms. 'Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate you coming back, breakfast for you and your mother is on me!' I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room.
  

I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession. We stopped in front of the big table. Its surface was covered with coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting slightly crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins. 'First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess,' I said. I tried to sound stern.
 

Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had 'Something for Stevie' printed on the outside. As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table.
 

Stevie stared at the money, then at all the napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it. I turned to his mother. 'There's more than $10,000 in cash and checks on that table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. 'Happy Thanksgiving.'
 

Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, as well.
 

But you know what's funny? 
While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big, big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table.
 

Best worker I ever hired.
 

Plant a seed and watch it grow.
 

At this point, you can bury this inspirational message or forward it fulfilling the need! 

If you shed a tear, hug yourself, because you are a compassionate person.
 

Well.. Don't just sit there! Send this story on! Keep it going, this is a good one!


AMEN!!!!!!!

GOD BLESS!!!!!!!


INDEED IT IS A GOOD ONE

12月4日

LIFE Giving...


"Where once LIFE was so all giving...now, I find it is more and more, about taking."
                            
                                                                                                                                     ~overheard~